


Paper boats

by crying_lestat



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3556805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crying_lestat/pseuds/crying_lestat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title and lyrics used in this work are by Darren Korb, "Paper boats"</p></blockquote>





	Paper boats

"What were you doing in your armory? It seems to me that..."  
Malcolm looked grimly at his so-called best friend. "I was _working there_ , commander."  
Trip snorted. "Jeez, Mal. Touchy, eh? Though i don't think anyone would mind, if you and that... Talas? Right? If you and her... ahem. You know." He winked.  
Malcolm sighed. "I was working, commander. I have no time for fooling around, even with handsome alien girls, more of that, even if they are - she is - tactical officer."  
Tucker giggled. "You liked her, don't ya?" So why don't? You've been walking in circles around her whole day."  
Reed sighed again. "Unlike you, Trip, i am mostly thinking with that head which is on my shoulders."  
Tucker opened his mouth. Then closed it with almost audible snap. And while he tried to compose a decent answer, Reed said "See you later, commander, i still have a lot to do." And then he was gone.  
***  
"I'm leaving, lieutenant." Malcolm startled at this words, he wasn't expected anyone in the armory in this time. But then again it was Hayes, and Malcolm was never sure what to expect of this man. "Major. Haven't noticed you here." Hayes nodded shortly. "I see. As i said, i was leaving. But..." he paused for a moment, "if you need help with something, i can stay."  
Malcolm chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't think you colud help me with that, major." Then he glanced at the MACO and noticed that strange look, which bothered him for some time lately. Because he couldn't read that look.  
"Is it something personal, sir?" Malcolm felt himself blushing. "Yes. No. Listen, major, it's none of your business. Do leave, please." Hayes nodded again. "I'm sorry, sir. Good night." Malcolm did not turn, but he could swear that major stopped at the doors to look at him with that strange look.  
***  
"Malcolm." Reed woke up abruptly. Bloody hell, he fell asleep in his office in the armory. And who waken him? He was sure he heard his own name, but the voice... No, it just couldn't be possible. "Stop this now, Malcolm. Go to your cabin and have rest," he said to himself.  
There's no-one in the armory, late shift is on break, and he is all alone here. Malcolm recalled how Talas watched him work, her complimenting his abilities, and chuckled. Yes, she was pretty and definitely had some interest in him. But it was nothing more than flirting. She understood that too. And Trip... well, it's Trip.  
On the other hand major was right. It's personal, maybe too personal to admit it. Most of all, it wasn't just physical reaction, this one Malcolm could admit. Physical is always simpler, easier. But feelings are different. As if he could hope, he mused, that his feelings may be mutual. Then again why not? He already tried to tease and to flirt, and saw some reaction, a smile at least. Maybe he should try again, maybe he should say about what he feels, before it's too late. And that voice... Maybe he really should.  
***  
Perhaps he has someone who waits him back home. He should have. Someone who miss him now. Better not to think of it now, doesn't help.  
Too much damage, and he must think of the ship, not of the man, but he cannot stop. Miracle or not, the armory wasn't damaged as much as the rest of the ship, but what use of it? Warp core is damaged beyond repair, some areas of the ship is unaccessible, and comm lines are partially out of order.  
When he bumped into someone in hallway, someone who smells smoke and blood, he didn't recognized that someone at first. And next he was grabbed into an almost bear hug, and then was his name in ragged breath. He lifted his eyes to see very terrified and relieved in the same time one particular MACO major. "Malcolm, thanks to god, you're alive." Trying to wrap his mind around this, Malcolm tried to free himself, "I'm fine, major. Let me go, please." Though it wasn't what he wanted, to be honest. He made another half-hearted attempt to break free, but Hayes still held him as a lifeline. "I was searching for you. Our comm line is down, and i couldn't reach you through ship's comm. God, it's..." He trailed off. "Why were you searching for me, major?" Malcolm asked carefully, when Hayes at last let him go. Major shook his head. "I assumed, you might need my-our-help, and..." Reed kept looking at him. "And - it's personal, lieutenant. I'm sorry for this outburst." Malcolm caught his hand. "I don't mind", he added wearily, "And i need your help, in too many ways."  
***  
After washing and changing his clothes Malcolm felt himself a bit more human. He was perfectly aware of Hayes watching him all the time, but he was too deep in his thoughts to pay any attention of major's presence. Silence was broken by Hayes, who apparently became tired of it. "Lieutenant, we've done everything we could. And i suggest, you should have rest." Daring of him, thought Malcolm, but haven't said this out loud. What he wanted to say was a lot different, but it seemed inappropriate in such time. Though he wasn't positive about "appropriate" time anymore. Any day may become their last one. He tried to compose himself, when he heard that voice again. Low, soft, barely audible breath of his own name. "Malcolm." His face twitched as if with pain. So it was him, after all. What an irony.  
Reed turned to face his "guest". That strange look again, unreadable. Haunted? No. Something was in it, and Malcolm couldn't understand what exactly this "something" is. It made him nervous beyond his already winded-up state. "What do you want, major?" he asked, maybe a bit sharper than he wanted to. "It's 'Jeremy' for you," was the answer, "and it's you i want." That simple. Malcolm felt himself lost of words, first time in all these months. And Hayes - "Jeremy", thought Reed, "he's Jeremy, not just Hayes or 'major' - continued, "It's not the time, i know, but i just can't wait any longer, i'm not asking you of anything, i just want you to know, that i'm here - for you." His usual soothing calm manner of talking, and his warm gaze made Reed sure that major - Jeremy - mean what he had said. So he decided finally. "Jeremy. It's not the time indeed. But... I feel just the same for you." He sighed. It was so much more than this, but he still was out of words. Jeremy relieved him of further thinking, he just stepped closer and kissed.  
***  
Fragile. It was the only word that came to Malcolm when he tried to describe what he have now with Hayes. The only thing that close to love, still he cannot tell what is it exactly. But it was fragile. And any time this could turn into a handful of shattered glass. No promises were made, no words of love were spoken, because there wasn't place for them now, there wasn't time. There was time for comfort and care though, and Malcolm was glad that they've found these simple things in each other, the rest can wait... if they'll live long enough for this "rest".  
_Seconds march into the past_  
_Moments pass and just like that ___  
_They're gone_  
Time stretched into long blurred line. Hoshi's kidnapped. MACO squad to the rescue. He, talking to Jeremy. Their return. Time started to spiralling, winding into a spring when he headed to sickbay. Hoshi was there, he saw her, but his eyes were searching for Hayes, and his heart almost jumped out when he noticed familiar uniform. "I'm fine, lieutenant." Nowhere near to "fine" but alive - and safe. He heard Phlox saying "You're not fine, major, and i won't let you out of sickbay for at least two more days. Hold still, please."  
Fear, and there was it, finally withdrawn. "I need to speak to major Hayes." Phlox allowed them some space, and Malcolm closed the privacy curtain. Not much of a privacy though in overcrowded sickbay. "How are you, major?" Hayes smiled in response. "Not that bad, all things considered. Could be worse." Malcolm nodded. "Thank you for bringing Hoshi back. Major, since you're not in the condtion for more fight, i will lead the team to Xindi weapon, and..." Reed hesitated for a second, "I might need your squad assistance." Major looked at him and answered, "Without question. I'll contact MacKenzie, she'll gather the team." Reed nodded and headed to exit, and in a second after Hayes called him by name. "Malcolm... Please. Come back." Reed smiled. "I have one to come back to. I will."  
***  
They sat together in Malcolm's cabin on his bunk. They dared not to speak, or to touch, they just sat too close, even not looking at each other. 'Enterprise' was heading home "in the belly of the beast" - in the cargo bay of one of the aquatic ships. Yet not Malcolm, nor Jeremy dared not to speak. None of them knew how long they were sitting like this, not that they cared. They're going home, now safe and almost forgotten in the past year. It doesn't made anything better. All will remain, scars and fears, and everything that happened to all of them.  
"We won", said Malcolm at last. "I can't believe it." Jeremy answered nothing, just hugged him and pulled closer. And this simple gesture of affection broke the emotional dam that Malcolm was building for a very long time. He twisted in Jeremy's arms, wrapped his own hands around Jeremy's neck and kissed him.  
If it wasn't the need to breathe, they could've kiss forever, melting in each other's touch and warmth, but they need to breathe. No words still, but they don't need to speak at all right now. Touches, kisses, salty of tears that spilled at last, all in silence.  
***  
_The river always finds the sea_  
_So helplessly like you find me_  
_We are paper boats floating on a stream_  
_And it would seem we'll never be apart_  
"Major Hayes, i need you in the armory." Hayes smiled, "On my way, lieutenant" and closed his communicator.  
He never saw Malcolm that nervous before. "To my office, major, please." Nothing but professionality, as always though. "Yes, lieutenant."  
He was utterly surprised, when in the office Malcolm pressed him into the wall and started to kiss him, so he didn't even tried to stop this attack. He surrendered to it.  
"Hey, lieutenant, what was the cause of it?" he asked with a smile when they parted. Malcolm blushed violently ant turned away. "I... It was not the best idea," he answered, and Jeremy chuckled. "Why?" Reed did not turned to him. "Because." Hayes stepped closer to Reed. "You've done nothing wrong, Malcolm. Don't distance yourself from me. Please." Reed shook his head. "I'm not. Because i can't. I've tried, but i can't. I ... I love you."  
Hayes hugged him. "I know. I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> The title and lyrics used in this work are by Darren Korb, "Paper boats"


End file.
